On January 11’th I got a great job offer – the only catch was that I had to take a pre-employment UA and pass a background check. I was PO’ed big time. I thought "you gotta be kidding me!". I’ve been around my industry for 30 years and well known. I’m no spring chicken – 50 years old, balding, happy old guy… you know – and been puffing for 33 years non-stop. I prescribed it to myself years ago as it helps me with my anger management! I can’t tell you the number of misguided souls I have not strangled the sh*t out of in communications centers across the country knowing that I would be medicating at the end of the day….it’s God’s gift to all of us as far as I’m concerned and I wasn’t about to have my liberties infringed upon by ‘The Man" just because I enjoy the heck out of it. I passionately hate establishments that infringe on my freedoms and liberties, but that’s a whole ‘nother thread! :rambohead:
I was going to have to take the UA by the 17’th, and I knew there was NO WAY i would be able to detox naturally or drink some magic potion instantaneously rendering me clean. It was either dilution or subbing. I diluted and tested a couple of days and that was ridiculous – tested positive both times. So my only choice was to sub. I ordered up a 2 oz bottle of Quick Fix 5.7-1 on Tuesday the 15’th at 3:45 PM and it was delivered at 10:00 AM the next morning! I read the instructions, read all the posts and recommendations and was as ready as I could be.
I arrived at Quest Labs on Thursday Jan 17’th heated, jocked and ready. I used the rubber band method to keep the heat pack in place, and had no issues keeping everything concealed and secure. I was the only "patient" in the clinic at the time so it was all me. Went in the back, friendly conversation with the lab tech, took off my jacket, washed my hands, and was directed to the bathroom to do the deed. No checking pockets, no observation. It was a breeze! I did not switch to the replacement flip cap, but used the one that comes on the bottle. As I thought the operation through, it became obvious that using the flip cap would create unnatural noises when squeezing the bottle in the bathroom which I wanted to avoid at all costs. The cap that comes on the bottle works just fine. Open, pour carefully into the specimen cup, close back up and jock the evidence. I would recommend that no matter how you execute the operation, never put the QF bottle or cap down on the counter in the bathroom! Holding onto them ensures that you pour, recap and jock all the evidence so you don’t get busted by leaving evidence of the deed behind. Funny thing is I ended up flushing the toilet by mistake!!!! That’s what happens when your married for 25 years! I came out and she mentioned it – and we both laughed as I mentioned I must be well trained and forgot not to use the water. She was fine with it. She split the sample I gave her into two tubes, had me sign some forms and I was on my way.
I got the good word from my employer that I was good to go on Wednesday January 30’th!!!! I have a feeling the UA was done in a few days, and then they did all the background checks once that cleared – it’s all about money right?
I got the damn job!!!! WooHoo!!!!! :rastabanna:
Subject: 30+ year smoker, medication administered daily!
Testing Facility: Quest Diagnostics
Test date: January 17, 2013
Test: Pre-Employment 6405N
The Deed: Subbed with Quick Fix 5.7-1 Batch F10B-12
Result Date: January 30, 2013
Test Result: negative – as pure as the driven snow! I got the job, retained my liberties, did not render genetic material to an unknown entity, and gave the establishment a good kick in the ass!
Subbing with the batch of Quick Fix I used worked like a charm for a pre-employment drug screen at Quest Diagnostics as of the date of this writing. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be freaking out, running thru how you’ll be executing the deed a thousand times in your head, making provisions for temp and volume requirements, etc. I would recommend getting the Quick Fix Plus so you have the extra ounce of synthetic just to be convincing. It’s only a few more $$$ and worth every penny! Don’t worry about it – it works. Take it from one who really needed this to work out, and it did!!!! :rasta:
My thanks and sincere appreciation to BurntToast (especially – man, you are a wealth of biophysical knowledge!) and all the other mods and members who provide wisdom and guidance on your own time, from the goodness of your hearts. It made all the difference for me, provided me guidance as to what to try, what not to bother with, and the ultimate solution that worked for me. The key is to read, read, read and then read some more before asking anything. While this is my first post, I am honored to be a member of this great community and will be contributing as best I can. I thank you all very much for giving me the clandestine knowledge I needed to begin the next phase of my career.